Jordy’s Biggest and Best Gift, Her Very Own Scandal.

Despite being aware that reality television is mainly scripted, we still manage to feel a kinship with these characters, or should I say caricatures. They are versions of ourselves with exaggerated issues. For instance, in one aspect the Kardashians are a loving family that each have their quirky personalities. Throughout the series we see Kim going through “crisis” after “crisis” most notable when she lost her diamond earring in the ocean. While some of these events resonate with us, it is exaggerated to the point of ridiculousness. We are able to poke fun situations similar to our own. 

The big question is how much of this dysfunction is real and how much of it is fake? Is it too much to say that matriarch Kris Jenner planned for her daughter’s three pregnancies? If so, is it too much to say Jordyn and the Kardashians went through with the matriarch’s ploy for publicity at the expense of the cheating father of her beloved granddaughter? 

PUBLICITY TACTICS.

Or should I say Kris-tics, since we all know Kris is behind it all? The world (debatably) does not have magic, but Kris Jenner is a close second. She worked miracles making her 5 minimally talented kids the talk of the town and by town, I mean every town, unfortunately. How exactly did she manage to do this? It is a technique I have named Onions (inspired by Shrek if you were wondering). Although media outlets like TMZ have a direct link with the Kardashians, every story that is released comes out in layers. Slowly, piling on top of each other leaving viewers confused but engrossed all at the same time. It is also visually comparable to 100 layers of nail polish.  

THE BETRAYAL OF JORDY.

We will begin in the present day, at what I would like to call “The Betrayal of Jordy”. Jordyn Woods has been best friends with Kylie for nearly a decade. The pair live together and are self-proclaimed sisters and there was also news of some wedding ceremony so I guess Travis Scott needs to make some room. On the other hand, Tristan Thompson had been caught cheating mere days before Khloe gave birth to their daughter True. He is now seen as the epitome of garbage men.  My theory is that Kris planned the outrageous cheating that social media cannot stop buzzing about and that the Kardashian sister and Jordyn Woods was in on it. Although this is the scandal of the year, at least that is what the media has been telling us, the entire scandal overall benefits all parties involved. 

The biggest reason that we can all agree on is that the Kardashian’s make money off of every scandal! This year maybe they can all get matching luggage. And based on the publicity they are receiving, it is as nearly guaranteed Keeping Up With the Kardashians will be renewed for another season. But why would Tristan and Jordyn agree to this? 

Although Tristan is widely hated, the publicity has increased his net worth. Which may mean he was in on the ploy or he could have been genuinely been on with cheating on Khloe again. Either way, I would not be surprised. This fiasco may mean he is making more money, but honestly, we are all bound to dislike him. 

Dare I say Jordyn benefits the most from this scandal? She has an entire scandal of her own I mean isn’t it a bit too late for a Christmas gift from the Kardashians. I guess as they say better late than never. Scandals are what created the Kardashian’s. Thanks, Kim. Jordyn Woods has now become a household name or at least a million times closer to it than she ever was before. Speaking personally, I follow the Kardashians pretty closely, but I am not an avid watcher of the show. However, I had only heard of Jordyn Woods after Kylie posted a video following the birth of her daughter titled, To Our Daughter.  Now she is a known figure whether people like the Kardashians or not, Jordyn in a name that is plastered on the front page of news articles. Although Good American and Kylie Cosmetics have taken pictures of her down, she has received offers from various modeling agencies. She has also gained 1.3 million followers, that is pretty much equivalent to the population of Pennsylvania. I call that a win. I think she can survive a few harsh but thoroughly hilarious meme pages for the sake of her future. Jordyn could have easily been in on this entire ploy.

This scandal perfectly may have been the very thing that allowed her to reach over the threshold and into “youngest self-made billionaire ” territory.  Kylie Cosmetics slashed prices of the Jordy lip kit in half, by the time I personally checked they were sold out! The “betrayal” of Jordy created more business and revenue for Kylie Cosmetics. If Kylie where doing this out of spite, she could have given away the lip kits for free after a certain dollar amount of purchase, but she didn’t. 

And Khloe the victim of it all. She was cheated on as she was giving birth for crying out loud. In the scenario that Tristan was in on the situation, they were possibly broken up months ago as followers speculated and waited until February the most important month of the Kardashian year to release the information in an adequately dramatic manner. And in the situation she wasn’t it honestly could have been an entire revenge plan. 

To keep the momentum on this story, they applied the onion technique. And Mama K made a whole 7 layer dip out of it. The story initially broke out surprising everyone. Not because Tristan cheated, we just call that Tuesday, but because of Jordyn. The next layer was cryptic tweets from the from none other than the kryptic kween Khloe Kardashian. The next layer was a buzz about Kylie kicking Jordy out. This also included more information on the relationship between Jordy and Kylie as well as more glorious memes. Followed by Jordyn visiting the Red Table Talk. The night before she went on the show a story broke about how Travis cheated on Kylie. That seemed like an attempt for the Kardashians to distract from Jordyn. This was just another layer to make it seem like the Kardashians are putting an effort into stopping Jordyn from being on the show when in reality everyone is just playing their parts. Also can we please take a moment to laugh at how the Smiths tried to make it sound like they were integrally affected by this mess. Following Khloe took to Twitter with a slew of tweets against Jordy. Now Tristan has allegedly moved on with a mystery woman.

THE MAGIC MONTH OF FEBRUARY. 

One of the most important months of the Kardashian year is February. It is important to get as much publicity out in this time to ensure that KUWTK is renewed for another season. If we rewind to  February 2017. This was the first year that Keeping Up With the Kardashians got a glimpse of the ax. Coincidentally, this was also the time that Scott Disick, the partner of Kourtney, was spotted with multiple women parting away the early days of February. The stories ranged from identifying the women he was linked to Kourtney’s apathy towards the situation. Other stories further twisted situation by Scott confessing to “sister-in-law” Khloe that he will always be in love with Kourtney. All these layers to the story are what keeps the viewers engaged. 

The following year, the world was blessed with 3 additions to the Kardashian Family. While Kim and Khloe had opened up about having a baby, for months there was buzz surrounding Kylie and whether or not pregnancy was why she took a  hiatus from the limelight. More theories about her being Kim’s surrogate circulated. It was a common theory that Kylie was not pregnant at all and that instead, it was all a stunt because that was one of the largest pop culture news at the time. Out of the three sisters, Kylie kept her pregnancy under wraps mainly because her due date happened to be a perfect time. And at the beginning of February marking nearly exactly 1 year after Scott’s antics and 1 year before Tristan’s infidelity with Jordyn Woods. There were multiple occasions where Kylie was seen in baggy clothing and looked debatable pregnant, to only that she teased her pregnancy multiple times throughout including a Snapchat video that showed the very top of her stomach. 

Don’t sweat Kris, we all already knew this was fake. If anything this article just increases publicity of the Kardashians anyway.